Spain 2016

[knapdog]

Effing epic.
I'm thoroughly enjoying this.
If you haven't got itchy, long distance, touring feet after reading this then heaven help you.
Remember the old Arthur Eperon, Travel France books, on B roads only? I've still got them and they are still useful for route planning.
Anyway, well done lads.
Heroes!

[JohnS]

Great write-up and photograph Bogger.

[Newtsalad]

Awesome, simply awesome. For the record, I was honoured to join these nutcases on a Spain run a few years ago. My guts hurt from laughing, my arse hurt from riding!

"Hardcore" doesn't even come close! Such adventures aren't for the feint of heart!

[onittino3]

What a Great read

[knapdog]

I repeat.
This is worthy of an article in RIDE magazine minus words like "arse" etc.

[Bogger]

Day 7 Lavelanet to just North of Limoges. Miles for the day, 296 miles

We actually managed to get up early for once got ourselves ready and set off for the mediaeval village of Mirepoix. At this stage it wasn’t raining but dull and overcast. Mirepoix is a lovely place and well worth a visit. The old timbered square is a site to behold. Some of the beams were massive and the carvings unique.

Ready for the off towards Mirepoix

Entrance to the mediaeval square at Mirepoix









Not far on from Mirepoix it started to rain, waterproofs on. The rain never stopped all day and for a lot of the time it was torrential with very poor visibility. We made our way North on the back roads through Castres and on to Albi. With the weather being so bad, riding was anything but a pleasure, more of a chore. At Albi we had a quick chat as to what to do. We decided to head West on the D999 to Montauban. Not before I had got us lost in Albi though. Nige managed to get us back on the right road, thank goodness. At our little chat In Albi we had decided to have today and tomorrow to get as many miles under our belts as possible, so we would have it easier, the closer we got to home. As an aside the clown bikes backfire was back with a vengeance. Pete was made up. Tit.
We stopped at a small village on the route to Montauban for a bite to eat and a drink. I thought we had a couple of Pain Au Chocolate to eat but the clown bike had spat them off sometime during the morning, to be squashed by some passing Renault 4 no doubt. Not to worry just across from where we had parked there was a ‘snack bar’. So me, Pete and JJ amble across for bite to eat. Apparently French snack bars don’t sell snacks? So I ordered three coffees. Pete doesn’t drink coffee’ woaar arr whanuh cup er tay. So I asked the guy for a tea. He turns around and picks up this ornate wooden box. Oh my God! My crap French has mortally offended him and he’s getting the duelling pistols out. He opens up the box and I’m ready to pick my fire arm. Oh, it was just a selection of teas. Pete starts asking for Tettley or Yorkshire tea but in the end has to do with a herbal mint tea. Puff.

Stop at the 'non Snack Bar'


At Montauban we slipped onto the A20, Peage and collected our tickets from the booth and shot off up the motorway and into the gloom. Up the hills we were slip streaming cars, lorries, each other, anything that moved quicker than us. Anything to maintain momentum. After fifty miles or so we see the toll booths up ahead. I get my ticket out of my pocket and it’s like a very limp, very wet lettuce leaf. I try to get it into the pay booth slot, credit card in the other hand. Will it go in. No chance. I have a glance behind me. Oh God a queues forming. I try again. In the ticket sort of goes in and promptly rips in half. Oh fer ****s sake. I’m getting a bit panicky now. I wave the other vehicles back and I spot Nige at the next booth. I spin around and join him at the barrier. Great we’re through thank God for that. Well, I say great. What was not so great was the Gendarmes at the other side waiting to pull me in for non-payment. Luckily his English was pretty good and he starts giving me a bollocking for not paying. I tried to explain my predicament and how I wanted to pay etc, but all he kept saying was that it was an offence. I said I know it was but, but, but, but ah bollocks to it, I just gave up when he said he was going to fine me. How much, I asked, fearing the worst. Total it was under thirty Euros. The cost of the Peage was over eleven Euros. So it was about a fourteen pounds fine. He’s also whingeing about the bikes not being fast enough for the motorway and checks the size of the bike engines via the V5. To add insult to injury, whilst he telling me off JJ is showing the other Gendarme, my favourite Barbie doll and asking if it’s an offence or not to have her on board a bike. He said it was not an offence as such, but just not right and shook his head in bewilderment. When we rode off, after this debacle, both the Gendarmes were laughing and taking photos of us. Damn cheek. Oh it was still pouring down. We finally made it to Limoges and a few miles further up the motorway we pull of in search of a campsite. Only a couple of miles down the road we happen upon Le Chateau Leychoisier campsite at about 6.00pm.

Le Camping Site


We ask if they have a chalet for the night. Unfortunately it’s camping only. So we set up in a light drizzle and mop out the inside of the tent with a T shirt. Happy campers? Not particularly today. A quick shower and a change of clothes and we are all feeling a bit better and it just so happens the bar/restaurant is situated in the Chateau itself. Very elegant it was too.

The Chateau itself

Our very damp pitch for the night



Of course we sampled some of the local beers and indulged in a rather pleasant bottle of white wine. The chef very kindly brought us out some pizza, free of charge, I say how civilised. Err, we were the last ones to leave the bar AGAIN.

Day 8 Limoges to Les Andelys. Miles for the day, 317 miles

Get that death trap off the road, leaving Leychoisier


The next day we awoke to rain yet again. Not pouring down just a steady drizzle. We bade our farewell to Leychoisier and jumped straight back onto the motorway. By now my headlamp had packed in and the left indicator was working intermittently. No doubt due to the fall in the Pyrenees. Did I say it was drizzling, nah forget that it was now pouring down. We had decided in the bar the previous night to try to get to Les Andelys again to the first campsite we had stayed at. Another big day in the saddle in horrible conditions. We made our way up past Chateauroux where we came off the motorway to get to Blois on the A roads. We came to a roundabout about thirty miles or so before Blois and there were diversion signs. This took us onto the smaller roads. Still more diversion signs. We were in the Loire Valley and we had seen sporadic flooding during the day. We were travelling in a Westerly direction and we needed to head North. We turned down a lane and came on a road block. You could see the road ahead was flooded leading into a village. The Gendarme told us to turn around. We could see the water wasn’t that deep, as people were wading through it. As she was telling the car drivers to go back I went forwards and guided by a local made it through. The others followed. It was only a foot or so deep.

Pee stop on the way North. Hmm wet weather gear back on


We were determined to get to Les Andelys and at about 6.30pm we pulled into the campsite like four drowned rats. The river Seine was a raging brown torrent and was at least ten foot higher than it been on our first visit. There was no way I wanted to camp that night. So once again we asked for a Chalet. They said they only did Chalets for two nights minimum. I asked if they could make an exception. Non. To be fair they were polite about it. Pete said he was not camping that night and we should try the small hotel not fifty yards away. Seeing as I speak fluent French , Pete pushed me through the door first. Unfortunately the Madame of the hotel could speak no English. They did have two rooms with twin beds and breakfast was included I could understand all that. But she was going on about something initially I did not understand. Then it clicked . It was fifty five euros per person per night including breakfast AND evening meal. Sorted, we’re in. There was even an area we could park the bikes around the back. Well chuffed, we went to tell Nige and JJ. JJ was made up. Nige less so?? Basically Nige wanted to camp!! Are you mad man , we all said at once. No he was deadly serious . He felt it was ‘cheating’ to stay in an Hotel. I said to him if he wanted to camp that’s fine but I was going to stay in the Hotel. JJ and Pete agreed. As we unpacked the bikes around the back we just about managed to convince him to stay with us. The next day he admitted it had been the best night of the holiday . The meal that night consisted of a help yourself starters of Prawns, snails, mussels, cold cooked meats, salad bar etc. There was a choice of main course, then cheeses then desert. Oh and in with the price was half a carafe of red wine and another of white wine. Proper job . We all thoroughly enjoyed the food and the refreshments and indeed the evening as a whole. We were the last ones out of the bar again.

Oh look we're drinking...again



And he didn't want to stay in the Hotel. Welshmen


Oh Lord I think a French bloke has just called Pete a Brummie

Jurgen Klopp on the piss


It was a good night mind
Packing away behind the Hotel


We say goodbye to our little French Hotel


Day 9 Les Andelys to Calais. Miles for the day 142

Our final full day in France. Breakfast was typically French. A crusty baguette with butter and jam and a coffee. The owner asked me if I wanted a small or large coffee. I didn’t fancy a thimble full, so opted for the large. It came in only what can be described as a large cereal bowl. No handle. Obvious. By the time I’d finished breakfast I felt wired. Pete drank the coffee in the absence of any tea. But he had to go to the toilet three times before he left the Hotel. Oh it was raining and rained all the way to the Guines campsite, just outside Calais. We did get lost a bit on the way to the motorway, but soon got back on track.

Comfort stop on the way to Calais


There was a small memorial stone in the layby we stopped in.
I Wikipedia'd ? this guy when I got home. Brave bloke and we treated him very shoddily after the war .


We wanted to get to Guines as early as possible, have a meal in the bar and chill out. We arrived in Guines about 4.00pm. We thought we’d try our hand a final time and asked for chalet. No chance all taken. Another night in the wet and for me, another night sleeping on the ground. Ace .

Guines camping pitch. Seems a bit wet underfoot


Always wise to take a few spares


The evening went to plan we had our meal rehydrated in the bar and got talking to a bunch of Dutch Hells Angels. After two pints they went to bed. Lightweights. We had been the first into the bar and as tradition would have it, we were last out. In the morning it was a quick brew, shower and head for the Port.

Oh bugger, work on Monday. And can't you tell from the expressions.


We were all knackered. At the port we are waved at to start our engines so we can embark. Pete starts his bike up and the bloke next door in the camper van just shakes his head in disbelief at the racket the bikes making. Hang on a second mate!!!!!!! I’ve had to put up with it like that since Spain pal. Pete gave him the thumbs up . The clown bike has always frightened me. But on this trip it’s frightened campsite owners, women in supermarkets, young children, horses. The list just goes on and on.

It's taken it's toll.




Highlights of the trip. All of it, same as usual. But the first night in Spain was good as was the Hotel in France. Niges new phrase made us chuckle ‘ He’s got eyes like a shit house horse’. I’ve yet to work on and Ode. ‘An Ode to Hagley Road Pete’. I was surprised how empty Spain was. I was surprised how wet France was. I wasn’t surprised the bikes made it. Cubs. You just can’t beat em. Total mileage on the bikes was 1910 miles, with one puncture, one broken exhaust and four broken spokes. Not bad going for four shopping mopeds and four blokes of a certain age who should know better.

Bogger

[horobags]

exellent report, and pics.

[fatboytours]

Brilliant mate, you should get this in the Adventure Bike magazine

[lucky]

Another brilliant write up you should have your own section, all your holiday adventures in one place to read.

[JOHNBOY]

excellent photos & write up enjoyed reading with good photos just shows how good these engines are bullet proof